“All happy families are alike, but unhappy families are each unhappy,” Tolstoy once said. Of course, this statement of the famous Russian author is not very accurate. Our family problems may seem unique, but psychologists recognize many of the signs and roots of family problems. We are unlikely to have a problem in family life. Most of these problems are similar, and some of them can be classified as common family problems. In this note, we talk about these problems.
Fights and dispute
Family disputes can be divided into two categories. A dispute determines what a dispute is and provides an opportunity to resolve it, and bad disputes destroy all levels of family relationships. The issue is not that there should be no fights and quarrels in the family because it is impossible; the issue is how the fight should be so that the family center and the relations of the family members are not damaged. How you fight is more important than the subject of the fight.
It is better to be calm when arguing and think a little before doing anything. Try not to express your feelings during a fight and do not say, willingly or unwillingly, something that you will later regret. If both sides argue equally and fiercely, it will be very difficult to control the situation. In this case, it is better to stay away from the fight environment, calm the situation, and then deal with the issue.
Decision making in the position of parents
Most family disputes involve children in some way, such as having or not having children or how to raise a child. In such cases, it should be noted that parents have two independent personalities and do not need to be similar.
Would you please make a list of your priorities and talk about them with your spouse? These disputes can be resolved through dialogue and agreement.
Balancing work and family life
Family life does not always have a romantic and dreamy atmosphere. Sometimes members have to make sacrifices and work hard to achieve family success or just for a living. Of course, spending time with family should not be neglected. In the meantime, balancing work and personal life may become a family problem.
It is enough to manage a little time and place the family in our work plan. Remember that the time we spend with our family is the most important thing in the end. Finding ways to spend more time with family is not always difficult.
It is difficult enough to take care of your affairs, and now it is your responsibility to take care of other family members, especially your children. There is always the possibility of chaos, and sometimes the result is unpleasant.
To solve this problem, you can use the recently popular time management software. Establish a regular but flexible schedule with the participation of all family members and encourage others to participate in its implementation and take an active part in organizing the family. This helps a lot in solving family problems.
One of the most stressful family problems is financial problems. Fighting over money and spending it is one of the problems of families today. It is better for family members, especially spouses, to understand money for family financial management. Money alone is not the cause of conflict, but our way of thinking about money makes a difference. By reaching a common understanding, weekly and monthly budgets can be adjusted. Saving on both sides can be beneficial.
Children who do not listen to their parents are one of the common problems of families. In this case, your patience will be tested. Remember that your stubbornness makes things worse because children are often more stubborn. You can not control everything your children do, but how you react is entirely up to you.
Be a good role model by responding appropriately to your children’s actions. If you are dealing with a nervous teenager, try talking to him, but if he asks you to guide him or give him a solution. Remember that sometimes making mistakes is a way to learn, so give your children a chance to learn from mistakes.
The poor conversation is arguably the most important and common family problem. Many candid conversations cannot be said in a family setting. Many problems arise when family members do not know the right way to communicate or implement it properly. In general, if you are weak in this area, your relationship will not grow.
To solve this important problem, we must learn the skill of dialogue and correct expression of our opinions and desires in the family. Fortunately, these skills can be acquired by consulting a family counselor, participating in skills workshops, or studying.
Some family members are nervous!
A spouse, child, grandchild, or any other person can be a source of stress. Sometimes these people break your nerves and drive you crazy!
If you have this problem, it is better to prepare yourself before entering the house or meeting that person. Mental readiness is better than surprise. Give yourself time to calm down and come to terms with the fact that you can not change others most of the time.
Division of household chores
Few people usually enjoy doing household chores, but there is no escaping it. Many of these daily tasks may have trivial or tedious life lessons.
The fair distribution of household chores among family members is important. In addition to sharing household chores with your spouse, be sure to play an active role in doing this for your children. They must learn to take care of their daily lives, not be a burden to others in the future. It is a big mistake that some parents do all the housework and leave their children alone.
Away from family
If you are away from family, you will have a lot of stress during the holidays and feel homesick. Nothing replaces a face-to-face meeting, but with the help of communication technologies and making video calls, and playing online games with family members, you can reduce your stress and nostalgia to some extent. Finding the right friends also makes you feel less alone.
Too close to family members
The opposite of being away from family is your constant presence with family members in a way that violates their privacy. Even if you are always together, give yourself and other members the opportunity and space to be alone with themselves or to carry out their plans alone.
A family member has a mental illness
One of the most difficult family problems is having a family member get a mental illness. This important and serious problem may affect all family members.
The fact that the injured person is a member of your family should not be denied. Seek professional help in these cases. With specialized treatment and support from family members, this problem can be overcome or managed.
inconstancy and betrayal
Infidelity, which sometimes leads to infidelity, is one of the most challenging family problems and one of the reasons for divorce. When this happens, the important question arises as to whether the family unit can be revived.
The best solution to this problem is prevention, meaning that both parties remain committed to the relationship and the family they have formed.
But if this happens, the best way is to get help from a specialist and consult a consultant.
Divorce is the most destructive family problem because it destroys the foundation of the family. In these situations, you need to provide emotional support to the affected limbs. It would help if you never blamed them or turned them away. Divorce is very bad for both a family member and yourself. It is possible to spend this period with the help of a family counselor and the emotional support of family members.