Remarriage after divorce and death of a spouse
One of the most common problems after divorce or engagement is difficulty deciding to remarry and lack confidence in choosing the right spouse, and fear of failing again in a second marriage.
After failing in their first choice, many people are more interested in expressing the flaws and shortcomings of their fiancé or ex-spouse and do not pay much attention to their role and share and their faults in choosing a spouse cohabitation. In other words, they play the part of the victim and the person who has been wronged, which causes them to make the wrong choice of spouse again.
When will we remarry?
When a divorce occurs after the marriage has ended, the woman can marry legally. Still, psychologically the condition is that the man and woman have been in an emotional relationship for a long time before the formal and legal divorce.
But when a sudden divorce occurs and the person is still psychologically involved, it psychologically takes between 6 months and a year to enter a new dating phase. This cannot be generalized to everyone, but it varies from person to person, and everyone can’t make a copy of it.
Nine steps to a successful marriage after divorce
It is quite possible to have a successful marriage after divorce, as long as you change yourself to be ten steps ahead:
After a divorce, there is a sensitive period that causes you to experience different and sometimes contradictory feelings. In addition, to get out of the post-divorce crisis, you need to deny the four psychological stages of anger, bargaining, and depression to find peace and acceptance.
Time is significant to get through these feelings and these steps. So my strong advice to you is to give yourself at least a year after the divorce.
Find out why your previous marriage ended in divorce. The purpose of this critical question is not to judge yourself or your ex-spouse and find the culprit, but the intention is for you to face the real reasons for the breakdown of your previous life and be able to do what you did. It also does not reach what your ex-spouse did not have.
When the honest answer to the question “Why did my previous marriage lead to divorce?” Once you have entered and been able to make up for your failure in your previous marriage, you can get out of the situation of the person who was the victim of your ex-spouse.
At this stage, it is necessary to take action to eliminate these weaknesses. It is better to get help from an expert with other knowledge.
In stressful situations after divorce, remarriage may be better for a while, but it is unlikely to have lasting peace of mind. So before remarrying, please ask yourself why do you want to get married?
Clarify your homework with your previous life. If you have a child from your previous marriage who lives with your ex-spouse, it is best to wait a while for these new changes and commitments to become relatively stable and then remarry.
Just review your previous marriage to learn from it.
Choose someone to marry who accepts your circumstances and whose values, goals, and characteristics are close to you.
Comparing remarriage options with your ex-spouse is a sign that you have not yet reached the self-awareness needed for remarriage and that your relationship with your ex-spouse is not entirely severed. The secret of a successful marriage after divorce with an ex-spouse
If you want to reconnect with your ex, you must first increase your spiritual capacity and learn to shape your independent life. Make no effort to reject him or attract him to you.
It is quite possible to return to live with your ex-spouse. Only in a few cases will it be determined that these two people are not suitable for living together after the necessary efforts and specialized examinations.
Acquiring two characteristics is very important for setting up a life together: those who could regain their independence thought about their role about their ex-spouse in the post-separation period, and their share of guilt, challenges, and issues. Not all the factors and faults were related to their spouse, but they played a significant role in this matter and solved their behavioral problems in remarrying with their ex-spouse.
Are men more successful in remarriage or women?
Success in marriage has nothing to do with gender. Being a man or a woman is not a determining factor in the success of a marriage. In a successful remarriage, those who are patient, calm, and familiar have done the right thing. The faster people make emotional decisions, the greater the risk of a failed remarriage.
How to treat our spouse’s children?
Usually, suppose the child is at a sensitive age of childhood or adolescence. In that case, he/she will react negatively to the parent’s marriage, but how the child behaves towards the stepfather or stepmother depends a lot on the other party’s attitude.
If a person loves his wife, he will generally love his children, who are the result of his marriage and past life, and in some cases, when a person sees his wife unloving to his child, he feels uncomfortable with To him will have.
Children whose parents remarry due to separation are in a more difficult situation. Because they are less inclined to accept a new member of the family, it is better to leave the decision to the child and give him a chance to deal with this issue.
Men’s problems for remarriage
- If his wife has died, he will be charged with cruelty and lack of interest in his ex-wife if he acts quickly to re-establish the family.
- If his wife divorces and gets married too soon, the possibility of a new person in the man’s life before the separation may be highlighted. Those around him may think that the reason for the man’s separation was his relationship with her.
- If you have a child, your child must agree to it and accept the next person as a stepmother.
Women’s problems for remarriage
- Even if some time has elapsed in the event of the husband’s death, the woman who intends to remarry is doomed to be unloving to her first husband.
- The deceased spouse’s family may not be well received and may object to the custody of the grandchildren by the stepfather.
- Sometimes, it isn’t easy to accept children with good memories of the father.
Tips for marrying a widow
If you plan to marry a widow or a man, you need to know the tips and follow them.
1- Acceptance of the past
Ignoring your spouse’s grief does not change anything. If you miss his feelings, the grief of losing his first wife may stay with him forever. It is better to let him talk to you and tell you where he is on his sad journey.
2- Accepting the presence of 3 hearts in life
In living with a man who has lost his wife, you should know that his love for his late wife has its place, and this, in turn, is respectable and has nothing to do with your relationship.
Life in the past is forbidden.
He knows very well that you are unique, and this factor has made him interested in you and share his marriage proposal with you. He does not care at all how similar or different you are from his late wife.
Kindness with sad memories
No matter how much you love your spouse, it still does not make him forget the death of his first wife. It would help if you never imagined that the anniversary of the end of your first spouse on your birthday is the anniversary of marriage without grief.
In these cases, you should tell him that you know the value of this day and want him to share his feelings with you. You can even suggest that you can accompany him to his wife’s grave if you wish.
Defining the border with gentleness and cooperation
Marrying a man who has lost his wife should not be entirely around his late wife. Your feelings are also important; you deserve respect.
Study and research for better behavior
Study and research to learn about the different stages of grief and its consequences. By the time you marry your spouse, much of his or her suffering is over. Of course, it should be noted that part of the sadness remains in people, which disappears with a bit of patience and also over time.
Do not be afraid to seek help from others.
Many of the people you feel comfortable with and talk to are people who feel the same way about you and feel lonely in the world. In this way, you can be a good companion for him, and he will put you on the right path with empathy and empathy.
Living in the moment and valuing the future
Create new memories with your spouse that are unique to you and have nothing to do with his or her past life or that of his or her deceased spouse.