You probably have experienced arguments, fights, and rivalries between your children if you have more than one. Even the best and warmest of relationships between siblings can result in fights and rivalries. Fighting between children is inevitable, and you just need to learn how to handle it.
Why should fights between children be controlled?
fights between children are perfectly normal in every family. This can lead to deep animosity and resentment and disturb the peace of the house if disputes escalate too far. In order for the children’s relationship to cool down, you as their parents have to step forward and solve the problem.
Warm and friendly relationships between siblings help children cope with various problems outside the home. At home, children learn how to deal with differences and resolve them.
Children who learn to accept each other’s differences and solve their problems better will form warmer and more intimate relationships between them, and the family will become a safe and peaceful place for everyone in the family.
How to say no to your child?
To manage this situation, you must first identify the causes of the disputes and competitions. Every discrepancy may be caused by a different factor. Who arranges the room or watches a movie on television, for example. However, the root of these differences may be more significant.
Sometimes the main issue may be personality differences. There may be a feeling of unresolved competition between children. The child might feel that the mother or father is more concerned about his or her sibling. An older child may feel resentful because he or she believes he or she cannot do much because he or she is younger or has more authority at home. Another sibling may wish for a quieter home environment. The other may enjoy noisy activities and adventures.
How to manage differences between children?
It does not matter what the cause of the fight is. As parents, we should do our best to establish a good relationship between our children and ensure these disputes do not damage their family relationships. Use the following methods to control your children if you are a parent of several children.
1. Educate children
You need to teach your children how to handle these discussions positively. Teach them how to resolve disputes constructively. If they listen to their siblings’ opinions and refrain from showing wrong behaviors, such as obscenity, then they will have a better mental framework for resolving disputes and overcoming conflicts.
In addition to preventing and resolving disputes among siblings, children who learn this skill are better able to negotiate and compromise in future relationships, whether at home or at work. As children learn to resolve disagreements with siblings, they become adults who are better at managing relationships with others and are better at resolving disputes.
2. Show the importance of sibling relationships
It’s important for you as a parent to remind your children how important it is to have a warm family relationship. Teach your children to see their family as a team. For a team to succeed, all its members, including parents and children, must work together, have a calm environment, and love one another. Disputes or quarrels between team members can negatively affect the whole family.
It may be better for parents to let their children deal with their problems and arguments. There is some truth to this. As long as children have the tools to resolve conflicts in a constructive, positive and peaceful way. In the event of an escalation of the dispute or a verbal or physical altercation, the parents should act immediately.
Even if you were not present during the argument, take time to tell them what happened and make it clear that any form of aggression is not acceptable at home.
4. Listen to both sides of the dispute
There are always two sides to any family dispute, and you must listen to the words of both sides and look at the issue from both sides. Make sure every child feels like their profession is done without judgment. Children often feel better after discussing their problems with their parents, especially when they feel they can express their feelings and receive fair treatment.
Set rules for family disputes.
In family disputes, obscenity, verbal or physical violence are not acceptable. Children should be taught not to break the law under any circumstances, and to treat others as they would like to be treated.
6. Rooting the problem
Have the children state their main problem clearly and accurately. Get them to identify what made them angry and upset. It will be much easier for you to solve the problem when the children find and recount the main problem, rather than focusing on the sibling behavior. Suppose one of your children is harassing you for choosing a joint game and wants that game to be his or hers.
If his sibling asks you to consider legal play instead of criticizing the behavior, the problem is easily resolved. You can force them to take turns deciding what to play and take control of the fun to be had.
7. Request a proposal on behalf of the children themselves
You can ask the children themselves for a solution in this case. Encourage them to find a solution that is fair and satisfying to both parties. Ask them to imagine themselves in the other person’s shoes and make a proposal based on their circumstances.
8. Being a role model for children
Children need to see you model problem-solving behaviors and skills. Children see and learn from their parents. Discuss these skills and the right behavior with your spouse and find the right path. How you behave with your spouse, parents, and children also affects how your children behave.
Children will learn this behavior from you if you respect others when arguing and fighting. Problem-solving and discussion management skills are learned by seeing and applying them both in childhood and as adults.
At-home habits to strengthen relationships between children and their parents
Families play an important role in strengthening sibling relationships and reducing rivalries and quarrels between siblings. Doing activities that encourage children to cooperate and participate will help them learn to be constructive and resolve their differences in a constructive way instead of arguing.
It doesn’t matter how different your children are from their siblings in terms of their behavior and personalities. You can use the following tips to warm up your relationship with your children as a parent.
1. Do not compare children
Do not compare your children with each other. Never say to your children, “Why don’t you listen to us like your brother?” Why don’t you help with the housework like your sister?
Avoiding comparisons between siblings is one of the most important habits that fosters warm relationships between siblings and reduces competition and animosity between them.
2. Identify the root cause of the discrepancy
If your children fight a lot, their behavior probably has a deeper motive than the apparent reason for their fight. One of them may be trying to get more attention from you. Perhaps they fight more when they are tired and bored.
Solving the major problems that lead to tension between children can reduce the conflicts between them. Try to give your children the same amount of time separately so that they won’t have to fight for attention.
3. Accept the differences
Teach your children to accept the differences between them. As a parent, you must also accept the differences between the children. When children have different interests, such as one likes to read quietly while the other enjoys busy and lively activities, there is a greater difference between them.
Then you must teach your children to respect these differences and to recognize that only one thing is more important. Loving each other in the family.
Teach your children to find solutions together or to take turns having family fun when they disagree.
4. Forcing to cooperate
Encourage children to participate in daily activities. Working in groups to achieve a goal is one of the most effective ways to strengthen empathy in children. For example, reward them for cleaning their rooms together.
Develop a project to accomplish this. They can clean their rooms, gardens, and yards or do anything that suits their abilities and age. Working together subconsciously forces them to accomplish the goal.
5. Improve listening skills
By learning listening skills, they also learn other skills. See the world from the other person’s perspective by putting yourself in his shoes. Ask your children for their opinions first, and think calmly when there is disagreement.
6. Teach the importance of respect
Show your children the importance of respect between family members. Respect involves listening to others. Improves respect in any relationship, whether it is between children of a family or between parents and friends.
7. Do not disrespect opposition
opposition, even when people love each other. This is an undeniable fact in life. However, the way we deal with these differences matters. Your children should be taught that they may not always agree with each other, but they should never disrespect each other or let strife affect their positive interactions. They should also avoid physical violence.
8. Focus on family relationships.
You should explain to your children and remind them regularly that families, especially siblings, have unwavering love and support that cannot be easily replaced.
Your children may now prefer to spend time with their friends rather than their siblings, but as they grow, they will become more dependent upon each other.
Although they may not yet fully grasp the importance of sibling relationships, this is a message that is worth repeating and will eventually become apparent as we age.
9. Set aside time for fun
Recreation is a good way to strengthen relationships among family members. Additionally to the fun and entertainment that everyone has with friends and peers, make time to spend together. You can strengthen your children’s relationships during these times and clarify the importance of family to them by being together.
Families are not immune to differences between children and fights between children. All you need to know about children’s fights is to find ways to manage them so that they don’t get worse and deeper. By working together, empathizing, counseling, and emphasizing the importance of respect in the family, create a warm and relaxing environment for children to learn problem-solving skills for a better life.